Doc Godley's Blog
SHOCK CLAIM: Aliens CREATED the universe and are controlling every aspect RIGHT NOW!
Physicists are slowly awakening to the DONUT's subtle supreme subatomic control over the 3-D space time we humans call the "Universe."
From the article linked here we read
"A SUPER-advanced form of alien life could have created the universe that we know and may even be woven into the fabric of it... An advanced race of aliens may have created the universe... one esteemed astrophysicist believes that advanced aliens could be behind the cosmos’ existence... alien life could be in subatomic particles which make up the fabric of the universe... In other words, life might not just be in the equations. It might be the equations.”
One day the world will join us in understanding that the entire known Universe is a giant hole into what only appears to be another universe but is in fact the same universe, meaning that we are living inside a cosmic Klein bottle with no inside or outside!
Oh yes, Dear Ones, we ARE the DONUT.
DONUT Tractor Beam
The helix shown in the video is His Hole-yness spiraling through 3-D space time as humans know it. He has a big soft spot (cream filled) for science.
Father Jerry and the Bizmarks
As word of DONUTARISM speeds around the globe at way beyond the speed of light, waves of adherents to various used religions are coming on board with his Hole-yness and giving it up for the Great Cosmic Center through which all mass, energy and flatulence must pass (but only if consuming toroidal bean burritos masquerading as The Great Orifice).
One of our newest adherents is Father Jerry from a secure underground religious worship center deep in Old Dixie where cotton fields of old have been replaced by WalMart parking lots and today everyone is an economic slave!
Father Jerry penned the following note just this morning via DonutNet, the secure, multiply redundant, triply reverse-proxy IP-encrypted VPN through which all electronic transmissions to and from Dr. Godley must pass. One can't be too careful with Hillary Clinton on the loose.
Here's Father Jerry:
"Whilst sniffing around the bakery department at my local WalMart yesterday I came upon a most wondrous construct... sitting innocently amidst a wide variety of donuts as we earthlings know them, and curiously labeled a "Bizmark".
"Feeling as if a door to higher consciousness was about to open, I reverently opened the box and, glory be!, beheld six (...count them, 6!) Bizmarks all enshrined therein, each filled with diabolically delicious bavarian custard creme to tempt the palate of the weak.
"For the weak shall know temptation and it shall fall upon them
as like unto a teenage boy entering a harem." -- Rotations 3.1415
"But lo and behold, the Bizmark is without a hole!
"Since Donutarianism is an all-inclusive, philosophically unbiased, gender neutral, user-friendly, trans-national, politically atheistic and universal faith that holds both rational and non-rational forms of thought in equally high regard, I decided to meditate on the question at hand.
"And as my mind began to rotate I received a most glorious revelation.. that there exists deep within Donutarianism an inner circle of esoteric knowledge that the rank and file know not of.
One enters this inner circle via an appropriate donation:
1) Preferably to Dr. J. Darwin Godley personally (if cash, in a plain envelope, otherwise please use Bitcoin from somewhere within the former Soviet Union). Include with your order Dr. Godley's private passcode: "Bite Me"
2) If you absolutely must, to the bakery department at your local WalMart, an economic black hole that just as sure as you're sitting there will suck the life blood right of your local economy like some kind of corporate, retail vampire. But that's a horse of a different color. Back to Father Jerry...
"Esoteric knowledge of the Great Hole-y O-Gasm is revealed the moment one bites into the soft and creamy goodness of a Bizmark. I opted to make multiple donations to WalMart's bakery in order to obtain as much Bismark knowledge as quickly as possible.
"My revelation was further elevated upon noting that there is no hole in a Bizmark from whence bavarian custard cream could leak(!), thereby rendering it a sacred confection superior in design and construction even to nuclear reactors and baby diapers from which verily there is often leakage; of the most radioactive kind from the former, and of a most malodorous kind from the latter.
"Clearly, there is no way to out-think, out-smart or out-roll the DONUT.
"My eyes glazed over as I resolved to increase my knowledge in days to come by consuming multiple boxes of Bizmarks, each to be eaten in meditative gratitude for all the joy that His Hole-yness continues to provide me.
May He rotate forever!"
The DONUT Will Never Be Taxed
IT APPEARS THAT some academic lunatics in Merry Olde England want to tax carbon intensive foods to generate more funding for The Church of Global Warming (no real religious competition to His Hole-yness who just rolls over and blinks his giant hole... believers know this as the Cosmic Wink, the source of all humor and irony throughout the Universe).
Here on tiny Earth, we observe that donuts consume no special amounts of carbon, whether from wheat flour or sugar cane. Lots of Friolator grease, that's for sure! But what would a real donut be without it?
So please, you lovely Donutarians everywhere, be without sin as you consume your favorite donuts. You are not contributing to the Earth's carbon footprint and you won't be on some weird "naughty or nice" list when you get to the Heavens offered by those quaint monotheistic religions that probably don't even let their parishioners eat donuts.