Typhoons Are Just Big, Dangerous Weather Donuts

Can anyone deny the truth of this? He is with us everywhere. Believers will be spared total destruction.

And for just $1 a month under our brand new, about-to-be-released Worldwide Injury Mitigation Program (WIMP), believers will be spared from any and all misfortune, including but not limited to: calamity, malfeasance, fraud, insurrection, civil unrest, invasion, bankruptcy and STDs.

While those big megachurches demand that you tithe 10% right off the top of your children's college fund, His Hole-yness asks for very little. Why should a little belief insurance get in the way of that next trip to Atlantic City?

Which just goes to show you that, here at The Church of the Hole-y D(o)nut we really do care. So why not show that YOU  care by chipping in a little. Would it kill you?
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