The Rupture
The following brief talk was delivered by Dr. Godley during an all-espense-paid, tax-deductible retreat to a lavish resort in Jackson Hole on the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000th anniversary of the Birth of the D(O)NUT, a date yet to be discovered by astrophysicists and other mere scientists.
Dr. Godley: Fellow parishioners, there appears to be some confusion between the Rupture and what Christians call the Rapture. Allow me to clarify.
From Wikipedia we read:
'In Christian eschatology the rapture refers to the belief that either before, or simultaneously with, the Second Coming of Jesus Christ to Earth, believers who have died will be raised and believers who are still alive and remain shall be caught up together with them (the resurrected dead believers) in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.'
Personally, I think you'd have to be standing in something pretty deep to believe any of that. Nevertheless, we Donutarians can take comfort in knowing that whatever those other guys believe, we take belief one HOLE deeper.
From The Book of Orifice at Chapter 0:00 we read:
"And lo, at the very end of Time itself there shall come the Big Birth wherein all those who died and passed through the HOLE believing in Him shall be delivered back through the HOLE again - Ruptured! - to live with Him forever, while unbelievers shall be crushed without mercy into a singularity of a rotating vortex too small to hold even a single angel, let alone the few that could still fit on the head of a pin."
I'm sure you have no difficulty believing any of this. Any questions?
The following brief talk was delivered by Dr. Godley during an all-espense-paid, tax-deductible retreat to a lavish resort in Jackson Hole on the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000th anniversary of the Birth of the D(O)NUT, a date yet to be discovered by astrophysicists and other mere scientists.
Dr. Godley: Fellow parishioners, there appears to be some confusion between the Rupture and what Christians call the Rapture. Allow me to clarify.
From Wikipedia we read:
'In Christian eschatology the rapture refers to the belief that either before, or simultaneously with, the Second Coming of Jesus Christ to Earth, believers who have died will be raised and believers who are still alive and remain shall be caught up together with them (the resurrected dead believers) in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air.'
Personally, I think you'd have to be standing in something pretty deep to believe any of that. Nevertheless, we Donutarians can take comfort in knowing that whatever those other guys believe, we take belief one HOLE deeper.
From The Book of Orifice at Chapter 0:00 we read:
"And lo, at the very end of Time itself there shall come the Big Birth wherein all those who died and passed through the HOLE believing in Him shall be delivered back through the HOLE again - Ruptured! - to live with Him forever, while unbelievers shall be crushed without mercy into a singularity of a rotating vortex too small to hold even a single angel, let alone the few that could still fit on the head of a pin."
I'm sure you have no difficulty believing any of this. Any questions?
