Taoism:  Stuff happens.
Atheism:  Huh, what stuff?
Idolism:  Let's bronze this stuff.
Paganism:  God is in all this stuff.
Moonies:  Only happy stuff happens.
Rastafarianism:  Let's smoke this stuff!
Creationism:  God made all this stuff.
Nihilism:  There ain't no stuff nowhere.
Mormonism:  God sent us all this stuff.
Christianity:  Give unto Caesar his stuff.
Quakers:  Let us not fight over this stuff.
Zen Buddhism:  Stuff is. And stuff is not.
Hinduism:  This stuff all happened before.
Secular Humanism:  So stuff, like, evolves?
Hare Krishna:  Stuff happens. Rama, rama.
Zoroastrianism:  Stuff happens half the time.
Wiccanism:  The best stuff happens at night.
Scientology:  If stuff happens, hold these cans.
Presbyterian:  This stuff was bound to happen.
Islam:  If stuff happens, it is the will of Allah.
Lutheran:  If stuff happens, don't talk about it.
Existentialism:  Stuff doesn't happen, stuff just is.
Calvinism:  Work hard and less stuff will happen.
Buddhism:  If stuff happens then it isn't really stuff.
Judaism:  Why does this stuff always happen to us?
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster:  Get stuffed.
Jehovah's Witnesses:  <Knock> <Knock> Stuff happens.
Hedonism:  There is nothing like good stuff happening.
Episcopalian:  Stuff isn't so bad if you serve the right wine.
Unitarianism:  Come let us reason together about this stuff.
Methodism:  Stuff isn't so bad as long as you serve grape juice.
Christian Science:  You don't need no doctor to cure your stuff.
Seventh Day Adventism:  No stuff shall happen on a Saturday.
Agnosticism:  Stuff might have happened. Then again, maybe not.
Fundamentalism:  When stuff happens, get born again or go to hell.
Catholicism:  If stuff happens, you deserve it. And you will go to hell.
Unitarianism:  Stuff happening to one is as bad as stuff happening to all.