The One True Religion
Can There Really Be Just One True Religion?
Logically for that statement to be true, there would have to exist a single religion. As soon as you introduce a second religion, you have competition, and smiting.
Will the one, true religion please stand up?
Today we see hundreds of religions, each claiming to be the one true faith.
Does it never occur to parishioners of "one true religions" that adherents to those other "one true religions" have just as much right to make the same claim for ecclesiastical superiority?
There have been thousands of gorgeous Playboy bunnies over the years. Can any of them claim to be the one, true Bunny? One can appreciate this dilemma immediately, especially our male readers.
And What of Donutarianism?
Critics have accused us of being a spoof of religion, a parody if you will. That hurts, it really does. And nothing could be further from the truth, on two counts.
1. The world's major religions could not do a better job of parodying themselves if they tried!
2. Our divine iconic symbol, the torus is the basic form of all energy fields and underlies the very fabric of space time.
Not even the Flying Spaghetti Monster can make such a claim (although to be fair He doesn't have to since He can simply change the Universe into a new form in which He cannot be understood, which is why His Noodliness and the D(o)nut are such good intergalactic poker buddies.
Let's take a look at a few of the world's major religions and summarize the basic tenets of their belief systems.
WARNING: This will not be easy, Dear Reader. You will need to suspend every fiber of your disbelief. You will surely think that we're making this up.
Example of a Modern Religion
Created by a former science fiction writer who wrote that upon bringing billions of people to Earth 75 million years ago, the galactic ruler Xenu stacked them around volcanoes then blew them up with hydrogen bombs, causing their souls to become clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living, thereby causing "engrams" which can only be removed through "auditing" by holding onto two cans attached to an "E-Meter." Adherents to this religion pay big bucks to climb a "bridge" to total understanding and if challenged by non-believers are instructed to cut off all communication with them. Forever.
Back to Religious Parody....
As we were saying... you have to stand in awe of religions like these. Frankly, they make Pagans with their midnight moon rituals look boring.
We Donutarians deeply respect all of the world's religions and cherish the vast cornucopia of belief systems available to mankind.
We see the panoply of available religions as a kind of super galactic Amazon where you can download whatever belief system gets you through the night.
But at the end of the day, indeed at the end of the Universe, His H(o)le-yness waits patiently for us all to pass through the Great Orifice into an afterlife of infinite peace, eternal prosperity, unlimited virgins (the Muslims only get 99), plus an entire celestial orchestra (Christians only have angels playing harps which are very difficult to dance to).