Donutarianism
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Fact: The Earth Is a Donut
At the web page titled "Mothers Being Sucked Into Flat Earth Female Movement" we read:
"Amazingly, the theory is gaining momentum with hundreds of websites... dedicated to investigating the true shape of Earth... The basic premise... is that the earth is not a spinning ball in space... [that] there isn’t, and never has been, any scientific proof of a globe earth... the powers that be have lied about the shape of the earth to hide valuable resources." One Flat Earther is quoted as saying: ".... the more I researched, the more I was convinced. The hard part is to make everyone else around you open their eyes without being called crazy." Yup, pretty much. And politics makes it entry here: "I have clarity about most every aspect of life now. I am no longer political as I now believe it just a facade and part of the deception." Clarity is probably the last thing this gal has. Naturally (or should we say supernaturally?) the alleged Almighty has to elbow in here with yet another Flat Earther oozing: "God is more real than ever, He is literally above us, above the firmament just like the Bible describes." Uh, huh. Lurking just above us. Or is that Zeus? Deep breath. Resist urge to face palm plant. First of all, resistance to government hasn't run this high in hundreds of years, and perhaps never over the entire planet, all at the same time. Anyone with an Internet connection and two brain cells to rub together knows that governments are corrupt, money grubbing, racketeering enterprises that spend most of their time stealing, invading and perpetrating various forceful acts upon people everywhere. They do this in the name of altruism, world peace, democracy, global cooling, er, warming and whatever else can be cooked up to amplify crowd control and boost tax revenues. Normals who spent many childhood years seated in the direct path of the light-emitting beam from their television sets, now find themselves sitting in the glow of their computer monitors as they click links and watch videos online where the truth is alleged to be told, never once suspecting that the Internet is crawling with spooks, shills and trolls (and not just in the mainstream media) who love planting false stories to mentally derail the masses. In the early phases of awakening from their mental conditioning, Normals just exiting The Truman Show are highly vulnerable to any crazy new theory that appears to explain how they've been controlled like a puppet on a string all their lives. In this new and highly susceptible mental condition the still-credulous Normal can easily be drawn into any new theory that purports to offer support for their frail and still emerging sense of reality. And the Flat Earth theory is as good as any. Plus, it's got everything going for it! You get to be part of a cult of deniers who are persecuted for your beliefs. [...like Galileo?] You get the ego boosting, warm-all-over fuzzy feeling that you, and you alone, know the one and only truth. [... along with all of the world's other religions?] You feel empowered, even compelled, to go out and evangelize your truth to all the world... [...you mean, like the Catholics?] ... to exercise your duty to save the rest of humanity... [...like the Baptists?] ... to help your fellow earthlings burst their chains of mental enslavement and free themselves from their cages of managed reality. [OK, sure, they could just turn off the TV (or shoot and bury it) and take their kids out of the public schools, but that's not going to happen any time soon] The irony (and it doesn't get any more ironic than this) is not just that the Earth isn't flat. The real conspiracy here, the real scam, the real coverup is that the Earth isn't round either. And we don't mean mostly round, as in ovoid, although it does bulge a little at the equator. Anyone over the age of 40 knows what that feels like. The truth, Dear Ones, is that the Earth is a donut! Here's how they cover it up... (heh) A heavy bank of thick, puffy clouds many miles deep lies above both the north and south poles in the Arctic and Antarctic regions, so it's impossible for satellites to see down INTO the poles and know that there's actually nothing there! These cloud banks are generated by messing with the atmosphere to cause excess H2O molecules to gather into giant clouds. And how is this accomplished? Via the High Altitude Auroral Research Project, otherwise known as H.A.A.R.P. (Google it!) Now you know what our evil overlords have been up to all these years with their giant microwave atmospheric heaters. They're creating massive fog banks over both poles so no one can tell what's beneath them, not even the Russians with their super-advanced spy planes, complete with ground penetrating radar and battery-operated vodka dispensers! That's right, Dear Donutarians, you can pass right through the middle of the Earth, entering at either pole and exiting out the other, since there is nothing there in the middle but empty space! [... this is where the United States hides their Secret Space Fleet, ready at a moment's notice to pop out either pole and put the other guys' lights out!] It's hard to believe, I know, but then again it's hard to believe people walking on water, riding on winged horses or reading from golden plates in a hat since it must be awfully dark in there. Since we're on a roll here (no relation to the Donut), let me point out another astonishing truth that has been hidden from you all these years by top "reporters" on the CIABCNNBCBS "news" network. The tiny planet orbiting our Dear Earth - yes, dear Brothers and Sisters of the Dough, I'm talking about the Moon - is known to be hollow. You read that right... hollow. As in, not solid? Read more here ... and here! But how could this be, unless... unless... the Moon is an artificial object! Which can only mean that it was towed into position by a powerful, ancient alien civilization. Or... yes, Dear Ones, by the Hole-y D(o)nut Himself, right after He towed the Earth into position. Just close enough to the Sun to make for some fabulous tropical getaways, and not too close so as to cook politicians and other cockroaches too quickly. That's correct, my fine confectionary friends, the Earth and the Moon are both artificial objects that were parked in orbit around our sun at the dawn of the Age of Rotation (you won't hear about that on any zodiacal calendar). The Earth was put here where His Hole-yness could keep the Big Eye on it, and the Moon was put there to drive women crazy every 28 days and give men a reason to go out and conquer other worlds. So spread the word far and wide. The Earth isn't flat and it isn't round, either. It's a big, fat Donut being orbited by a tennis table ball. You are the first to know. |
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