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The Deselected
Doc Godley To Direct New Movie, 'The Deselected' As Even More Unbelievable Alternative to 'The Chosen'
Good day, everyone. I hope Earth's final days find you well. I note that there is a new TV series titled The Chosen which alleges to depict Jesus as locals knew him. This is truly remarkable. I can only suppose that the producers must have obtained a time machine. As part of our ongoing missionary effort to convert the masses to reason, here at The Church of the Hole-y Donut we will soon be shooting a full-length feature to be titled The Deselected. Plot Summary: The protagonist whom we have named Plesus (rhymes with Jesus) attempts through various parlor tricks (later adopted by Penn & Teller) to convince locals that he is the son of God, only to be stood up on dates, excluded from school board meetings, tennis foursomes, and the like. As a young man Plesus toys with the rabbis, basically screwing with their entire view of existence, then disappears for 30 years - only to return in time for the weekly Saturday evening crucifixion at Golgotha which he ducks by making a big donation to Pontius Pilate's re-election campaign, and substituting Jesus instead. Our hero whom we reveal to be a shape-shifter from the planet Xenu (which is where Scientologists come from) then assumes Jesus' identity (the most stunning case of ID theft in all of history), spends three days in the cave with a previously stashed supply of water and granola bars, rolls the rock out of the way (it was only a stage prop), emerges to a stunned crowd, puts together a band of 12 local, long-haired hippies (Peter is solid as a rock on the drums), and marches forward into history to his own music. We will soon be holding auditions. It's a sweet role for the right guy, so do get in touch. Filming begins as soon as we can raise the first $1 billion dollars on our new social media funding platform, GoFindMe. Sincerely, J.D. Godley |
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