Who can resist a dish of delicious deism, a slice of succulent superstition or some rich, fudged scripture?
Yes, it's time for the Semi-Eternal Deity Bake-off, where lesser gods from every corner of the universe (doesn't really have corners) gather to show their wares.
For avid believers, the Bake-off offers an opportunity to taste and sample some of the most delicious alternative religions this side of the Horsehead Nebula.
Plus, it's a great opportunity to raise revenue and spread the good word throughout the multiverse.
[Note: Gods from the planet Xenu are not eligible. Scientology already has more money than God!]
This event's theme is "Dark Matter."
Contestants will be required to incorporate this motif into their baking, perhaps adding just enough dark matter to make up for any missing ingredients.
Top prize will include an all-expense paid Bacchanalia on Regulus with 99 virgins in attendance to satisfy your every need.
The winner will receive a beautiful, new planet (beats a snow globe every time) to place on the shelf, the coffee table or anywhere heads will turn (or rotate).
Our last event saw the planet Earth awarded as top prize to Yahweh who, we regret to report, abused it terribly. Earth has since been given to Gaia.
The runner up and second runner up will be required to participate in a no-holds-barred cage match with the winner permitted to slaughter all of the loser's devout parishioners.
So come join us!
A great time is had by all, and everyone leaves satisfied in their choice of consecrated confection.
[ANNOUNCER: This is an equal opportunity event. Gods of all sizes and descriptions are eligible. Complies with all applicable Galactic civil rights laws and does not discriminate on the basis of species, temperament, appendages or eon (female deities need not reveal their actual age). Special booster seats to be provided for Ireland's Little People. As usual, one booth will be left empty for the God Of Atheism. Satan, bring your own lighter fluid. ]