Donutarianism
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The D(o)nut's Prayer
Spiritual Preparation:
Assume a posture of total unworthiness
(like groveling on a beach in south New Jersey?)
and repeat after us:
Assume a posture of total unworthiness
(like groveling on a beach in south New Jersey?)
and repeat after us:
The D(o)nut's Prayer
Oh H(o)le-y D(o)nut, who art everywhere
(And not just in "heaven" like those lesser gods),
Glorious be thy Name.
Thy Queendom come (gays allowed),
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in "heaven",
Wherever the hell that's supposed to be.
Give us this day our daily donut,
And forgive us for flaunting our clear superiority,
Even as we pity those with no intelligent design sense.
Lead us straight into temptation
(Otherwise what's the point of living?)
As for delivering us from evil...
Where's the fun in that?
For thine is not just the kingdom,
The power and the glory
(Which those annoying bronze age gods seem to crave),
But all things perfect and delicious,
Unto infinity... and beyond!
Amental
Oh H(o)le-y D(o)nut, who art everywhere
(And not just in "heaven" like those lesser gods),
Glorious be thy Name.
Thy Queendom come (gays allowed),
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in "heaven",
Wherever the hell that's supposed to be.
Give us this day our daily donut,
And forgive us for flaunting our clear superiority,
Even as we pity those with no intelligent design sense.
Lead us straight into temptation
(Otherwise what's the point of living?)
As for delivering us from evil...
Where's the fun in that?
For thine is not just the kingdom,
The power and the glory
(Which those annoying bronze age gods seem to crave),
But all things perfect and delicious,
Unto infinity... and beyond!
Amental