Donutarianism
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Taoism: Stuff happens.
Atheism: Huh, what stuff? Idolism: Let's bronze this stuff. Paganism: God is in all this stuff. Moonies: Only happy stuff happens. Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this stuff! Creationism: God made all this stuff. Nihilism: There ain't no stuff nowhere. Mormonism: God sent us all this stuff. Christianity: Give unto Caesar his stuff. Quakers: Let us not fight over this stuff. Zen Buddhism: Stuff is. And stuff is not. Hinduism: This stuff all happened before. Secular Humanism: So stuff, like, evolves? Hare Krishna: Stuff happens. Rama, rama. Zoroastrianism: Stuff happens half the time. Wiccanism: The best stuff happens at night. Scientology: If stuff happens, hold these cans. Presbyterian: This stuff was bound to happen. Islam: If stuff happens, it is the will of Allah. Lutheran: If stuff happens, don't talk about it. Existentialism: Stuff doesn't happen, stuff just is. Calvinism: Work hard and less stuff will happen. Buddhism: If stuff happens then it isn't really stuff. Judaism: Why does this stuff always happen to us? Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster: Get stuffed. Jehovah's Witnesses: <Knock> <Knock> Stuff happens. Hedonism: There is nothing like good stuff happening. Episcopalian: Stuff isn't so bad if you serve the right wine. Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this stuff. Methodism: Stuff isn't so bad as long as you serve grape juice. Christian Science: You don't need no doctor to cure your stuff. Seventh Day Adventism: No stuff shall happen on a Saturday. Agnosticism: Stuff might have happened. Then again, maybe not. Fundamentalism: When stuff happens, get born again or go to hell. Catholicism: If stuff happens, you deserve it. And you will go to hell. Unitarianism: Stuff happening to one is as bad as stuff happening to all. |
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